My week

Well, this week was a step in the right direction. I started teaching again this week, and I was at work very late getting things ready, and didn't get much sleep this weekend. Overall, the week was a step in the right direction. On Tuesday morning, I walked my hour before school, at 4:30 a.m. It was nice, and I really enjoyed the morning air. The unfortunate part was that it meant only getting about 2 hours sleep. I stayed up until two, just excited and nervous about starting work again, and then went into the school right after I worked out. So, I was very tired by that night.

The next morning, Wed, I got up and did about half an hour of Pilates, and then went to work. Well, by Thurs, I was exhausted that I slept in more, and got up in time to do 15 minutes of aerobic-type exercising on my own. And by Friday, today, I was so tired that I couldn't force myself out of bed until 45 minutes before work, and barely dragged my buns into the shower. Well, the week started well, but I petered out from exhaustion. I have to find a way to pace myself to stick with this on a consistent basis. I thought that exercising would give me more energy, but it's not enough yet to make me all energetic and dying to get up.

And my eating has improved. I joined the website, SparkPeople, and have started keeping track of my calories. This practise alone has really helped me to start being aware of what I am eating, and leading me to eat less. I did have a binge of macaroni salad on Wed night, but having to account for it was great for making me face it, and move on. I did not carry the guilt around with me all the next day, but instead let go, and forgave myself. This is a big improvement for me.

I am set up with SparkPeople to eat between 1800 and 2200 calories. I hope this is a right figure for me. I also am scheduled to do five hours of cardio a week. This week, I have almost reached this goal because of going with the P.E. Class at school, taking part in a bit of the tennis and walking to the tennis courts.

This month, my leg has been swelling up like crazy. I have had two blood clots and it swelling up like it did when I had my blood clots. I can't afford to get a blood clot right now, because I need to work, and to lose weight! I am wondering if it is my calves swelling up from the pressure of carrying all this weight around while walking.

It is just one thing after another. I take two steps forward, and one back. I am going a bit forward, though. I am far better than I was two months ago. It's just frustrating that it can't be faster.